|
This might seem a bit strange, why would
anyone need to address manners and etiquette in long-term care facilities? The generation of people currently in
long-term care come from a more genteel age.
They believed that people should be addressed by their last names until
such time as your were familiar enough with each other that you could then
agree to use first names.
Gentlemen opened doors for ladies,
gentlemen paid the bills, “please” and “thank you” were part of everyday
language and there was a hierarchy at places of employment meaning that the
boss was referred to as “Sir” (there weren’t that many women bosses back in the
day). As people with dementia make their
way into long-term care, they revert to what they know and remember and manners
were ingrained.
If you notice your loved-one becoming
difficult to deal with as they are having trouble remembering, call upon those
manners that they taught you. Gently
link arms with your father and ask him if he would walk you to the dining room
or offer your arm to your mother and ask if you can accompany her to the dining
room. Suddenly, you are no longer
threatening and this is a scenario that your loved one will feel comfortable
with.
To someone who is having difficulty
remembering, people who appear to be strangers coming in and out of their room
and touching their stuff or even touching them is most alarming. If the caregiver not only introduces themselves
as Ms or Mr So-and-So but then addresses the senior using their last name,
“Hello Mr Bronley, I’m Ms Nathan and I’m here to help you” the comfort level
can be increased. To the senior,
everyone is being polite and they in turn will probably revert to familiar
patterns. In another scenario, the
caregiver can ask for help: Ms Lawlor, would you please help me fold these
towels? Ms Lawlor feels that there is a
level of civility that is acceptable to her and she can certainly help this
nice person and the caregiver would follow through by saying thank you once
the task is complete.
To people living and working in the 21st
century, reverting to using last names and addressing people by their title of
Mr or Ms can seem a bit silly but it provides a level of comfort to those
seniors currently entering or already in long-term care. Asking a resident “would you mind opening
this door for me, Mr Bronley?” can seem time-consuming and irrelevant but to Mr
Bronley, it can make the difference between feeling positive or feeling
unsettled (“open the door!”). Don’t
discount manners in long-term care as they can allow caregivers an air of
respect for the residents but also for themselves.
|
