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Are you looking for a nursing home for your
loved-one or relative? Before decisions
about a nursing home are made, it is important to have started a series of conversations
regarding your loved-one’s wishes for their care in the nursing home. Your loved-one may have made a “living will”
but it might not cover their needs once they are in a long-term care home.
This is a very important step and should be
addressed in an on-going dialogue between your relative, the rest of the family
and perhaps even close friends. One
conversation will not be enough so be prepared for many conversations before
and perhaps even during the time your relative is in the nursing home.
Some of the issues that need to be raised
are:
How does your loved-one feel about pain and
suffering? Does the prospect of having a
lot of pain worry them?
Is your loved-one concerned about how their
health will impact the rest of the family?
Is your relative the type of person that always puts the welfare of
their family first?
Does your relative have strong religious
beliefs that will need to be addressed?
Will having regular religious ceremonies or one-on-one discussions and
prayers be necessary for their happiness?
Would your relative prefer not to have any
religious intervention in their life?
Would your relative find it intrusive if the chaplain of the nursing
home visited them regularly?
Most people say that they do not wish to
have any pain or suffering and that they do not want to be a burden on their family. You may want your loved-one to remain alive
at all costs but is that what they want?
These are serious questions and they may make you uncomfortable to even
begin talking about but it’s important to start as soon as possible. If it
helps, imagine yourself in your relative’s position. How would you feel about these issues? Are your thoughts at odds with what you want
for your relative? Would you want this
kind of burden placed upon your own family/children? Remember, this is not your choice; it’s the
choice of your loved-one that matters.
Some people think that it is bad luck to
speak about death and funeral arrangements but leaving it to the last minute
can make for some really difficult times for everyone in the family. If everyone knows your loved-one’s wishes
then it no longer becomes a divisive issue.
Perhaps not everyone will be happy with the result but the wishes of
your relative will be known and can be respected.
Before walking through the doors of a
nursing home is the time to begin an open dialogue with your relative and the
rest of the family. Remember, this a
quality-of-life issue and friend’s and family have to be aware of your
loved-one’s wishes and value them. The
more you talk together, the easier it will become especially knowing that your
loved-one has been heard and respected.
Nothing will be left for one member of the family to deal with. Friends and family alike will be aware of
exactly how your loved-one feels because there will have been a series of
conversations that they were able to participate in.
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